“If you’re a normal person, one of the few things you can count on is death. . .but if you’re a surgeon, even that part is taken away.”  Meredith’s monologue begins.  She and Cristina have been reading her mother’s diaries – full of information about her surgeries.

Meredith Grey and Isobel Stevens have been assigned to Dr. Erica Hahn’s service today.  At first they are a little turned off as there will be no actual surgery with her patient.  They will be causing a heart attack to learn more about the patient’s heart.  In reading over the history, Izzie suddenly pulls Meredith aside and tell her that this is “Denny’s heart”- the heart she stole in an attempt to keep Denny alive.  Hahn continues to explain that she doesn’t get attached to her surgeries, but she’s been working with this family for 2 years trying to keep this man alive.  “Giving them hope and taking it away every time.”

While everyone is explaining the procedure to the patient, Izzie is having trouble telling her part.  She starts to lose focus completely and cannot hear their words any longer because she sees Denny in the hallway outside.  After leaving the room Meredith asks, “Are you freaking out . . . it’s a lot of Denny for one day?”   The still startled Izzie nervously asks Meredith, “how much Denny are you experiencing?”  Meredith looks her in the eyes and says, “Izz, you can do this.”

They go in to do this man’s procedure and Hahn calls Izzie over to her.  “I chose you for this surgery because you’re good with patients.”  “Yah, that’s something I’ve been told to work on not doing,” Izzie explains.  Hahn gets firmer saying the patient is nervous and needs someone to help him, “Step up!”  Isobel goes over to his head and weakly tries to help him and talk him through the pain, but she can’t.  She looks up and sees Denny again.  The procedure soon ends, unable to finish because the patient couldn’t breathe. Erica begins to explain that they will need to try again, but the patient says, “I can’t do this again.”  Isobel gets up abruptly and says, “I’m so sorry,” and she leaves the room. 

Hahn tells Meredith to go find Izzie so she can personally throw her off her service forever.    Meredith tries to explain, but Hahn doesn’t listen, “Tell her to find me!”  Meredith goes looking and finds Alex Karev first.  “Listen, Izzie is having a rough day, if you see her. . .” but she’s cut off and dragged away by Cristina.

Erica finds Callie and asks her, “Hey, do you know if Izzie Stevens had any kind of a relationship with Denny Duquette?”  Callie laughs out loud before “What you mean besides the engagement, cutting his l-vad wire to move him up on the transplant list.  Izzie was on probationary leave because of this.  She almost got kicked out of the program over it. I forgot it was before you were here.”  Erica is stunned, “I’m sorry, I was at another hospital watching patient’s heart being stolen out of his chest,” and she leaves disturbed.

Meanwhile Alex found Izzie and brings her to the basement.  She’s hoping that he is not taking her down there for sex because she is really not in the mood.  He tells her about the cadavers and Izzie starts to freak out even more.  As if its not bad enough that she’s seeing ghosts today.  “I heard you were having a crappy day, I thought this would cheer you up,” Alex beams.   Isobel  smiles and laughs nervously and says, “It’s like a bouquet of dead people. . .it’s just a lot of dead people for one day,” she trails off mumbling to herself before leaving quickly.

Erica Hahn has now gone to the Chief.  He’s playfully behind the scenes of the robot dummy.  He tries to get her to join him until she announces, “It’s about Izzie Stevens and Denny Duquette.”  He turns somber and leaves with her.  Back in his office she really starts to lay into him about the whole thing.  “. . .No wonder this hospital is number 12. . .”  The Chief stops her, but she keeps going.  She asks for an ethics panel on this – for Stevens and for Bailey as her superior.  “My patient lost his heart over this, Richard, someone is d**n well going to lose their job.”  Finally he is able to get a word in., “Stop, we’re not digging this up.  It didn’t go unreported.  It was reported with me and I dealt with it.  Stevens was punished, she learned from her mistake and  she is on her way to becoming an excellent surgeon.  That’s the kind of hospital I’m running.  Now this issue has been laid to rest.  It’s in the past and that’s where its going to stay.”  She finishes, “It’s not in the past for me.  It’s lying on a bed in the ICU about to die.”  “Then your only responsibility is to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Chief tells her before she storms out of the office.

Finally Meredith finds Izzie in the x-ray room.  “You hiding from Hahn?” she asks.  “Sure, her too,” Izzie responds.  Meredith brings her up to speed on the patient and says she should go see Hahn.  “I stole his heart, Meredith,  I stole it for Denny and I stole it for me. . . so anyways, I’m hiding.”

Izzie goes to be with people and is willing to do so even though they’re all in the basement with dead people.  She takes the time to genuinely thank Alex for trying to help her feel better.  In his way, it was a big step.   Meredith begins to tell a secret she’s learned from her dead mom.  “When your dead mommy teaches you things do you see her,” Izzie asks.  “No, I was reading her journals,” Meredith explains.  Izzie nervously acts like she was kidding.  The others notice something’s not right with Izzie, but Meredith continues, “I did see her once though.  And that bomb squad guy and Denny.”  “Today?’ Izzie asks.  “No, I was dead at the time,” she says as if it was a no-brainer.  “I still feel my mom with me sometimes,” Lexie adds. “I gotta get off this case,” Izzie is beside herself.  She goes to find Hahn, but as she approaches the patient’s room she’s whispering, “please don’t be in there, please don’t be in there.”  Hahn sees her and comes out.  Izzie begins to apologize and ask to be off the case.  Hahn refuses and not only makes her feel guilty, but blames her for it.  She makes it very clear that Izzie is responsible.  “And if he dies, I want you there for that too because you are responsible.”  At that moment you see that the patient’s wife is standing right behind them and has decided to check her husband out.  He won’t be doing the procedure.  Izzie goes to talk to him and he assures his wife will be fine.  Izzie does not agree.  “If you die, she will not get over it.  She will not move on.  She will think she can, she will think she has, and then out of the blue you’ll be right there so close, she’ll think she can touch you.  And then all this for her will be happening all over again.  She will not be able to move on.”

The patient agrees to do another surgery making the comment that, “We can thank Dr. Stevens, it’s her fault we’re here, right?”  The procedure begins and as the pain starts to ensue, this time Izzie is ready to calm him.  She starts telling him he needs to breathe.  She looks up and sees Denny again.  She goes silent and stares into his eyes.  The situation gets more serious, and now so does Izzie.  She is firm and confident pushing him through, “I need you to fight, fight to stay,” then finally yelling to him, “Breathe! Right now!”  The patient finally takes a breath and they are able to complete the procedure.

After work, Callie Torres asks Erica how her patient is doing.  She says she was able to buy some time.  She explains that she approached Chief about the Izzie thing and he shut her down, but she’s going to take to a higher authority for evaluation.  Callie stops in her tracks.  “Whoa, what is it going to help your patient’s outcome.”  Erica gets defensive and says her patient wouldn’t be in this mess if it hadn’t been for Izzie and the whole thing.  “You’re going to report this to UNOS and cost this hospital its transplant certification?” Callie says accusingly.  Erica doesn’t get it.  Callie continues, “She’s a doctor, she’s one of our doctors, there’s a reason we have eachother’s back, Erica.”  “Oh please do not talk to me about a coat because this is not that,” she replies.  “No this is that,” Callie affirms.  Callie admits that she doesn’t know exactly what happened with Izzie, but unless Erica was there at the time, she has no right to pass judgement on it.  Erica explains that there is right and there is wrong.  There is “no grey area here.  You can’t kind of side with Izzie Stevens and you can’t kind of be a lesbian.”  “Yes I can,” Callie says.  Erica can’t believe she ever went along with this, she doesn’t know Callie at all, and leaves as mad as ever.

Izzie is in the locker room at the end of the day, seeing Denny right beside her again.  “No you can’t be here, I have to move on.  I love you, but I have to move on. . . Please you have to go.”  “Go where,” and his face is replaced by Karev’s.  “Are you okay?” he asks.  She smiles and says, “Yes,” kisses him, “I am totally okay.”  She tells him she has to change and she’ll meet him at the bar.  He leaves, but when she turns around, Denny is there again.  “Are you sure you’re okay,” he asks her.  She doesn’t look so sure.                        

more from this episode . . .